Loving Lily
by ginnyweasley777
Summary: Teddy is in love with Lily, but Lily doesn't know it yet.
1. Chapter 1

Loving Lily

Chapter One: Oh Bugger!

Teddy Lupin was twenty eight, Lily Potter was eighteen, and he'd been in love with her for three years - three years that felt like a lifetime because he'd been in a relationship with her cousin, Victoire Weasley, and pretending to himself that his feelings for Lily weren't real, that they were just a product of his imagination.

But Victoire had started to show signs of wanting a bigger commitment from him, one that involved a ring, and it had been the jolt that he'd needed to realise just how unfair he'd been to her these past three years, so he'd finally decided to do the right thing and break up with her.

So he'd moved out of the flat he'd shared with Victoire and moved in with Harry and Ginny until he could find his own place. Of course, they didn't know the real reason he'd broken up with Victoire, which was just as well or they'd probably finish the job Victoire had started and actually kill him.

He thought back to two months ago when he'd finally grown a pair (and nearly lost them) and broken up with Victoire. To say that she hadn't been happy was the understatement of the century. She'd been absolutely fuming after she'd got over her initial shock.

' _Why, Teddy, we're great together, so why do this?' asked Victoire._

 _Teddy paced to the window of the flat they shared and stared out. 'It just isn't what I want any more, I'm sorry.'_

' _There must be a reason, Teddy! We love each other, we can make this work.'_

 _Teddy turned around slowly to face her. She was stood in the middle of the room with tear stained cheeks and wringing her hands together. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, the woman he'd thought he loved, but he had to be honest with himself, with both of them. She deserved to know the truth - he owed her that much. 'I'm sorry, Victoire, but I love someone else.' He closed his eyes so as not to see the hurt cross her face. There, he'd finally admitted it._

 _Two seconds later he wished he hadn't._

 _Hurt had quickly given way to anger and Victoire looked ready to commit murder. Teddy Lupin, Auror, paled at the sight._

' _How can you love someone else when you have me?' screeched Victoire. 'I'll make sure the boyfriend-stealing-witch can't have you!' she screamed, pulling out her wand and firing a curse at him._

 _When Teddy saw the curse headed straight for his bits his Quidditch reflexes kicked in and he dived to the side, feeling the wind as it whistled past him and hit the pillows on the sofa, causing feathers to explode across the room._

' _Victoire!' he exclaimed. He winced when he realised it had been a Shrinking Hex._

' _Serves you right,' she sobbed. 'How dare you cheat on me!'_

 _'I haven't cheated on you!' he replied. 'Nothing has happened - I wouldn't do that to you! It's just how I feel, and I can't help it, I'm sorry.'_

 _She picked up a glass vase off the mantlepiece and threw it at him. 'Liar!' The vase shattered on the floor a foot away from him._

 _'That's enough, Victoire!'_

 _She crumpled onto the sofa amongst the feathers. 'Just get out, Teddy, and leave me alone.'_

' _Okay,' he agreed, not knowing what else to do or say. 'I'll get my stuff later.'_

 _Victoire looked up at him as he turned to Disapparate. 'Who is she?'_

 _Teddy bit his lip and shrugged. 'It's not important.' How could he possibly tell her that he was in love with her much younger cousin? He couldn't._

He shook himself back to the present and wondered wryly just how he'd got himself into this predicament as he stood on platform nine and three quarters and waited to meet Lily off the Hogwarts Express as she returned home from her final year at school. Harry had suggested it would be a nice surprise for Lily if he met her off the train. He could hardly say no. He was already pretty far up the proverbial creek without a paddle given that he'd now be living under the same roof as her.

Lily. He hadn't told her about the break up yet - he hadn't seen her since the Easter holidays and it wasn't exactly something that he wanted to explain in a letter. They were best friends despite the age difference and they'd been confidantes for as long as he could remember, starting from when she was just a little girl and he'd always been able to tell her anything - anything except the fact that he was in love with her of course.

It had been torture to be around her once he'd realised he'd started to have feelings for her. He'd initially put it down to her changing from a girl into a beautiful young woman and he'd thrown himself into his reationship with Victoire in order to have a reason to distance himself from her. It hadn't worked.

The steady chug of the train notified him of her impeding arrival before it appeared around the bend in the track and pulled up at the platform. Within minutes the whole area was inundated with students chattering to friends and relatives alike. He looked around for her, but couldn't see her tell-tale red hair anywhere. Just as he was about to look further down the train, he saw her.

'Teddy!' she exclaimed, running towards him with a big smile on her face and flinging her arms around his neck.

He groaned inwardly as his traitorous body roared it's approval at the contact. He tried hard to ignore the feeling of her breasts pressing firmly against his chest. Luckily she pulled away.

'I wasn't expecting to see you here,' she said as they walked back to her luggage which she'd abandoned to run to him.

'I'll go then, shall I?' he teased.

'Don't you dare,' she laughed.

He tapped her trunk with his wand to shrink it before his picked it up and put it in his pocket. 'Ready then?'

They arrived in the garden at the Potter's house with a pop. Lily sighed. 'It's strange to think I'll not be going back to Hogwarts.' She turned and hit him lightly on the arm as they began to walk up the garden. 'And you don't write enough.'

'Sorry,' he replied.

'Victoire have you on a tight leash, does she?' Her eyes twinkled with mirth.

'Well, about that...' He trailed off as they entered the house and Lily greeted her parents enthusiastically. He slunk away to take her trunk upstairs.

He went into his own room after he'd set her trunk in her room back to it's normal size. He sat on his bed with a sigh and rested his head in his hands. Honestly, what was he doing? Living at the Potter's was only meant to be a temporary thing while he found his own plae, but Victoire had an expensive taste and he'd found he couldn't afford it just yet. He'd broken up with her because it wasn't fair to her, but that didn't mean he'd intended to end up living under the same roof as Lily.

He sighed again. Damn. He knew it was futile to love her as he did - he was too old for her and there was no way she'd ever feel the same as they were practically family - but what was he supposed to do now? He wished he knew.

He raised his head at the sound of the door opening. Lily walked in.

'Hey,' she said softly. She moved to perch on the edge of the desk opposite him. 'Mum told me...' She flicked her hair over her shoulder as it glimmered in the sunlight streaming in from the window behind her. 'Are you okay?'

'Yeah, I'm fine,' he said, smiling weakly as he tried hard not to stare.

'Liar.'

He didn't reply.

'What happened?'

 _I'm in love with you._ He shrugged. 'It just wasn't working for me any more.'

Lily arched a brow. 'I bet my dear cousin didn't take it too well?'

He chuckled. 'She threw a vase at me and tried to hex my bits off,' he admitted.

She gave a rich and full laugh. 'Typical drama queen then.' She eyed him shrewedly. 'I take it she didn't succeed?'

He shook his head. 'Nah, all still present and correct.'

She waggled her eyebrows. 'Just as well then, or there'd be some disappointed witches!'

 _Damn again,_ thought Teddy, _just how have we got onto this topic again. Very, very dangerous territory!_

'You could have told me, you know,' said Lily quietly.

 _You wouldn't want to know this!_ Teddy nodded instead. 'I know, but you were busy with your exams, and I...' He shrugged.

'Well they're over and done with now,' she said lightly. She jumped off the desk. 'Do you fancy going for a fly?'

'Sure.' He accepted the hand she offered to pull him up off the bed. Bugger, he really was going to have to find a place of his own soon or he'd literally explode at this rate.


	2. Chapter 2: A Precipice

**Author's Note - Well it's been a ridiculously long time since I posted anything as I've been busy with real life but I was looking through my hard drive recently and found this story again, then got an idea for a Teddy/Lily story and then decided I could make it work with what I'd already written in the first chapter. Harry is deliberately a bit over the top / protective in this story, but there's a reason. Hopefully all will be clearer next chapter.**

Loving Lily

Chapter Two: A Precipice

Dinner that night was a lively affair as both James and Albus had come over in honour of Lily having finished at Hogwarts. Teddy was the only one who noticed Lily pushing her food around her plate somewhat morosely and only speaking when spoken to.

"Have you thought any more about what you want to do now that you've left Hogwarts, Lily? I'm going to need to know soon if you want to apply for the Auror programme so I can sort the class list out," said Harry.

"No, I don't know," she replied, staring fixedly at her plate.

"Well you're going to have to make your mind up soon as I need to process the applications before I can do anything else."

"I know."

"You know the window for applying for this year's classes closes in a couple of weeks."

"I know."

"I think you'd make a great Auror. Or Quidditch player if that's what you decide - there's plenty of teams that'd be happy to have you try out I bet."

"I'm going to move out," she said quietly, so quiet it was barely audible. At first she thought no one had heard her - perhaps it would be better that way…but unfortunately she had no such luck.

"You're what!" exclaimed Harry.

"Why?" asked James.

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" asked Ginny.

"I don't think you should - you're much safer here, Lily," said Albus.

"Will you all just shut up!" shouted Lily, standing up from the table so fast that her chair crashed to the floor. She stalked to the door.

"Where are you going?" asked her mother.

"For some air."

Harry made to get up and go after her, but Teddy, the only person at the table who'd not said anything yet, rose from the table. "Leave her for now, Harry, perhaps it's better if I go after her?"

"Yes ok, Teddy," he nodded, rubbing his hand across his face in a gesture of exasperation and worry.

Teddy walked quietly out of the back door of the Potter's house and across the garden in search Lily.

He found her sitting on a fallen log in the orchard at the very edge of the property, apparently lost in thought as she stared hard at the ground.

She looked up as he approached. "Let me guess, my father sent you?"

He sat down next to her and noticed her surreptitiously wipe her eyes on her sleeve. "Nope, I offered to come instead of him…figured you could use a friendly face about now."

"Thanks."

"So you serious about this moving out business then?" he asked.

"Honestly?"

"Yep."

"I've thought about it once or twice, but then tonight I just snapped. I can't live here any more with Dad's fussing."

"Come on, Lily, cut the crap, you can talk to me. It's more than just that, isn't it? Your dad has been fussing over you like that ever since, well ever since what happened."

"You can just say it you know - ever since I was kidnapped two years ago," she snapped.

"Alright, ever since you were kidnapped. So come on, talk to me, Lily."

She sighed and wrung her hands together. "It's everything - it's my whole world and everything in it. I feel like my life is plunging ahead and I'm powerless to stop it."

She stood up and began to pace. "I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room screaming at the top of my voice and no one even looks up. I can see my whole life as if I've already lived it - an endless monotony of doing what other people want me to, always doing only what is expected of me...Merlin forbid I should want to be my own person. It's like I'm standing at a great precipice with no one to pull me back, no one who cares…no one who even notices." She held up her left hand with the engagement ring on her finger.

Pain speared through Teddy's heart as if he'd been stabbed. She was getting married! Not once had that idea ever entered into his head. He refused to show just how much he was hurting and let out a low whistle instead. "God, look at that thing, that's some rock." Feigning indifference was impossible though, he had to know. "Since when were you even seeing anyone though, let alone getting married?"

She bit her lip. "I've been seeing him for a while, I guess, but I never exactly considered it serious."

"Why didn't you tell me, Lily?"

She shrugged. "You had your own life with Victoire, and like I said it wasn't serious so I didn't think it was important enough to share, and besides…" She shook her head. "It doesn't matter."

He rolled his eyes as jealousy gnawed at him like a savage beast. "Not serious - you're engaged!"

"Don't be like that, Teddy! He asked me out just before…you know…then after it was easier to just go along with it and pretend like I wasn't affected by anything, to act like I was still completely normal and not dying inside! So when he asked me to marry him it was just what was expected of me to say yes!"

Some of Teddy's anger abated at her words. "Do you love him?"

"What sort of a question is that?"

"A simple one," he replied with a hint of a smile. "Come on, Lily, you either love the guy or you don't."

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is…talk to me, Lily, please."

"Fine!" She sat back down next to him. "I don't love him."

His heart jumped at her words and relief flooded through him. "So why are you engaged then?"

"Do you have any idea how hard it is being me - the daughter of the great Harry Potter? I feel like everyone has this idea of how I should be, how I should live my life, and what I'm supposed to do with it. It's like I'm expected to either be a Quidditch player or an Auror, because of my parents - you heard Dad in there. And that's why I feel like I'm expected to marry Stephen."

"You don't want to do either of those things, you want to set your own path in life, be your own person."

"Yes, exactly," she said, throwing herself back down onto the log. "I just feel so trapped."

"So what do you want to do?"

"I always quite liked the idea of being a Healer, but I don't know if I want to travel first, just head on off to the horizon and go where the wind takes me. You know sometimes I think Uncle Charlie has got the right idea, I'd like to be like him."

"What a dragon keeper in Romania?" he smirked.

She shoved him with her shoulder. "No, silly. What I mean is the way that he's, he's thumbed his nose at society and done exactly what he wants to do. Everyone always used to think that one day he'd get tired of it, come back to England, find a girl, settle down, get married, and give Grandma some more grandchildren to fuss over. But he never has - he just does his own thing."

"I can understand that."

"Why did you become an Auror, Teddy?"

"Because I wanted to."

"Exactly."

They lapsed into silence for a moment as he pondered her words and cursed himself for not being there for her when she'd needed him.

"I'm sick of the way people have treated me ever since I was rescued. They treat me like I'm a baby and can't think for myself. I'm _not_ weak."

"I don't think that, I think you're one of the strongest people I know, and I know you're more than capable of defending yourself. I still remember you punching me when you were twelve."

Lily laughed. "You deserved it."

"Did not!"

"Yes you did!"

"So do you have any idea where you're going to move to?"

"Nope, so much for my grand plan, eh? I guess I'll have to start looking at flats tomorrow. Maybe I could try Muggle London?"

"You know there is another option."

She looked at him aghast. "You've just listened to me pour my heart out and you're going to suggest I stay!"

"No, not at all, Lily."

"Then what?" she said dubiously.

"I've got a new flat sorted and I'm moving in next month, so you could move in with me," he suggested, surprising even himself.

You'd let me move in with you?" she asked with surprise.

"Yeah, why not, there's a spare bedroom. I'll be working a lot of the time so won't be bothering you. Besides, at least you know it'll pass your dad's security check," he smiled.

Lily wrapped her arms around him in a fierce hug. "Thank you, Teddy." She kissed his cheek then sat back up.

Honestly, he didn't know what he was getting himself into, but he just knew that Lily seemed to really need a friend right now, and he determined to be the best one that he could be for her, his feelings be damned.


End file.
